This wisdom, via a friend via a podcast, tells us why we’re so lousy at analyzing and fixing ourselves. We can’t see things for what they are. We’re too close to the problem, which is us. But it doesn’t stop us from trying.
This is related to another quote I use a lot in the workshops I teach. It’s from Stephen Covey, Jr. in The Speed of Trust. “We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior.” We may mean well. We may think we’re acting nicely. We may intend to come across as likeable and genuine and altruistic and positive and giving and …
But the world can’t see those intentions. They interpret our voice, our nonverbals, our micro behaviors, and our macro behaviors and put labels on us. The nutrition label of what’s in our package: Selfish. Mean. Short. Condescending. Impatient.
The prospect of that gap should alarm us and drive us to want to know the truth. But to quote Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men, “You can’t handle the truth!” Or maybe we don’t want it. Because we rarely ask for feedback and often crucify or punish those bold enough to give it.
Put another way: We are the world’s worst judge of ourselves.
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